Overdue Update

Hi everybody...sorry it's been a while since we've updated you, but we've been having too much fun! We haven't done anything special, really...we're just really enjoying not having lots of doctors' appointments to go to!

Tony is back to eating regular food, for the most part. Lately, he has been chowing down on cheeseburgers, pasta, and chili dogs quite a bit. Bread is still a little hard to get down, but if it's slathered in chili, well, that helps! Sweets are still pretty unappealing to him, but I think that taste will come back eventually too.

Tony and I went shopping for some new "skinny" clothes for him, so he's looking a little more put together these days! He still isn't really gaining weight, which is what we're going for, but I try not to nag too much.

So that's about it...we're just enjoying life and don't have to see another doctor until November. I'm gearing up for school, as is the little guy, and Tony is working too hard, as always! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and we'll talk with you all later. :)

CT, Birthday, Follow up news.

IT is official! I am cancer free! I had my meeting with Dr.Victor this afternoon and she says that the CT looks good. The primary tumor is completely gone, and there is just some residual inflammation left from the radiation. We celebrated by eating (that’s right I said eating) at Red Lobster after shopping for clothes that actually fit my 40 pound lighter frame. It has been a long process and I would like to thank everyone for reading my blog, stopping by my facebook page, and just asking how I am doing. The taste buds are coming back also/ each day I am trying something just a little different and I am usually surprised that I am able to enjoy it. Jess took me to Noodles&Co for my Birthday on Tuesday and I had a Beef Stroganoff bowl that was awesome! I still have a way to go until this last of my cancer treatment residual effects are over. My hair is attempting to grow back, but it is all straight, mostly grey, and not growing back in the rear……so I am going to keep cutting it. Jessica and I have a plan for the morning for the Cancer center…actually we had a plan for good news and a plan for bad news….one of which involved a flaming bag of poo! We are preceding with the good plan that involves cold frappuccino's, cold orange juices, and dozens of fresh Schuler’s doughnuts. We decided that would be our way of saying thank you to the staff and patients in the morning. I will keep this blog up and keep you all updated on my progress, and if anyone reading this could say a prayer for Elijah’s Aunt Stephanie Mosier, and my favorite CT tech Lynne, It would be appreciated.

Thank you all!

End of Treatments! Now the wait for the results.

Hello everyone! On Thursday June the 10, I had my last radiation treatment! I will not miss getting the daily shots, or the sensation of being strapped down with a tongue depressor between my teeth for 20 to 40 minutes a day. I would like to thank everyone that has visited my blog for updates, prayed for me, or just sent me positive thoughts. I have been lucky to have a great support group as well as receiving support from unexpected people and places. In the month leading up to my CT scan, I will be attempting to get back to normal. My energy levels will get better, and I will not be wiped out from walking down a flight of stairs. My biggest challenge and something that I am looking forward to is getting my taste buds back! I have been torturing myself and got hooked on the Food Network! Since everything taste like wet paper, I have been collecting recipes and testing them out on Jess (She would not tell me if they are bad or not…just yet). Once I can taste just one thing, I am going to probably burn myself out on that food quickly since I have had nothing but ensure shakes for the past Month! I will keep the blog updated with progress and recipes.

No Chemo for You!

Well, Tony's last chemo (on Tuesday) turned out to be...no chemo. He had been joking that maybe his blood counts would be too low for chemo, and as it turned out, they were. His white blood cells were 2.0 (normal is 4.5 to 10.0). So his doctor said this was too low, and that's it for chemo. He's done.

The radiation, unfortunately, continues. He did have one day off (today) because they had to re-do the computer mapping for his new "skinnier" mask. But this is just a one day break, so not too bad. He has five more treatments, and then we'll schedule a CT scan. Can't WAIT to be done.

Also, a funny story: Tony had wanted to get a bracelet engraved with the end date of his treatments. So I found a nice stainless steel, manly bracelet and had it engraved with the cancer ribbon symbol and the date of his last treatment (6-8-10). Aaaaand then they told us he would have to be off an extra day due to the computer mapping stuff, which means his actual last day of treatment will be 6-9-10. (Sigh). THEY MESSED UP MY BRACELET!! Ah well. Note to self: cancer is unpredictable. I'm waiting until he's ALL the way done now. ;)

Adventures In Dining

Hey everybody...a quick update, slightly happier than my last one. So far, we have dodged the feeding tube thing. Tony is doing reeeeeally well drinking his Ensure shakes...he had TEN of them today! I'm so proud. I don't mean to sound like a doting parent, but I see how hard it is for him to drink them (seriously, YOU try drinking ten of those puppies...they don't taste THAT good!) Anyway, ten shakes = 3500 calories! Woohoo! (This is what we get excited about these days).

We did have a rather humorous conversation today with our server at Los Mariachis. We used to go there all the time - as in, we didn't even have to order. They knew what we wanted when we walked in the door. But needless to say, we haven't eaten out much lately. However, Tony decided to take me to Los Mariachis today, and he ordered some plain grilled chicken. He managed to eat a little of it before his taste buds started fizzling out and it tasted really weird to him. So he had a lot of food left on his plate.

Enter stage left: concerned waiter.

Waiter: Do you need a box, sir?

Tony: No, that's OK. Thank you.

Waiter: You didn't like it??

Tony: No, it was very good, thank you.

Waiter (confused): I can get you something else...???

Tony: [pained look to wife that says, "Do I really have to do this?"]

Jess: [stifled grin that says, "Yeah, you're probably gonna have to go there..."]

Tony (to waiter): Dude, I have throat cancer, so the food's really good; it's just kinda hard for me to eat.

Waiter: Ooooooooh. I'll get your check.


Hehehe...you can't say the guy didn't have good customer service. Tony left him a nice tip. :)

Well, Crap.

Today was a rough day. We went to the Cancer Center this afternoon as usual for Tony's treatment. When he came out to meet me after his treatment, he told me they had to "re-scan" him in the CT area due to his weight loss. They've started weighing him daily because he has lost so much weight and his radiation mask doesn't fit the way it did when it was first molded. This, then, affects where the radiation is directed, so they have to keep a close eye on things.

We kind of thought the "re-scan" was just par for the course, but while he was in the CT area, his radiation oncologist came to talk to me. When she started by saying "OK, here's the deal...", I can't say I was too cheerful. She explained that when they first scanned Tony for radiation treatments, they formulated the different areas or "planes" where the radiation would be directed. However, due to Tony's weight loss, they had to scan him again today. The problem is that the prior plan for his radiation planes and the re-scan they did today weren't meshing too well. In particular, he seems to have lost a lot of weight in his face and neck, which is messing with the plane of radiation near his spinal cord. Not cool. This means we have basically two options: 1) He gains weight and they continue with the existing plan or 2) He doesn't gain weight and they have to re-formulate the plan (remember all that complicated computer mapping?), which would take 5-7 days, which would mean delaying his remaining treatments. While that might sound like a nice thing, with this type of cancer it is NOT a nice thing. It gives it a chance to grow back.

The doctor then told me that she wanted us to consider a feeding tube, since I have been twisting Tony's arm to drink 4 nutritional supplement shakes a day, and to gain weight he needs to drink more like 8-10 each day. I knew he would not be happy about this. Heck, I wasn't happy about it. But the doctor said we reeeeeally needed to pack some calories in him, either by him drinking or by way of a feeding tube. If we couldn't do this, it would mean the delay in treatment, which is - as I mentioned - very bad. Oh, and we pretty much had to let them know by tomorrow morning if we needed the feeding tube because it takes a while to schedule the procedure. (Sigh). After she left, I sat in the waiting area and cried a bit - after all, I thought we had dodged the whole feeding tube bullet.

So when Tony came out, the doctor repeated the whole explanation to him, and he (rather vehemently) said that he was NOT going to have a feeding tube this close to the end of treatment. We explained/encouraged/admonished him that this meant he would have to drink 8-10 shakes a day, and he said that he would try. When we got home, I heard Tony scurrying around in the kitchen, and I thought he was doing "angry cleaning." (That's what both of us do when we're upset...you know, to take our minds off things.) But then he came in the living room and announced that he had a present for me, and that I should go in the kitchen. When I did, I saw six (yes, SIX) empty shake bottles. My mouth dropped open and I said, "Did you pour them out?!" He replied, "Nope. I drank 'em."

Wow. He had already had two shakes earlier that day. So eight "Fortify" shakes (that's Kroger brand Ensure...hehe) = 2800 calories and 104 grams of protein. I don't know how he didn't puke.

Just goes to show you what a little determination (or should I say stubbornness?) can do. Needless to say, he will be spacing them out a little from now on.

Also needless to say, we appreciate your continued prayers. Today was pretty rough, and this last bit of treatment is very rough for Tony. Trying to drink that much every day is hard. Also, since we are near the end of treatment, our thoughts have turned to what happens next. The doctors have told us that when he is done with radiation and chemo, they will wait about six weeks and do a CT scan. This will tell us how the treatment has affected the tumor area and lymph nodes, and if we are in the clear (remission!) or not. I don't even want to think about the "or not" part. I can't really think about that option right now. So please continue to pray! We appreciate everyone's kindness and prayers...we'll keep you updated.

Git 'Er Done!

It is with great pleasure that we announce Tony is nearly 2/3 done with radiation! (Last Friday was halfway, and this coming Friday will be 2/3). Believe you me, we couldn't be happier to be approaching the end of this ordeal. To date, Tony has lost about 14 pounds. The weight loss can be attributed to all the side effects of the radiation, which vary in intensity from day to day. Dry mouth, loss of appetite, mouth/tongue sores, and altered taste all affect how much he can force himself to eat. By far, though, I think he'd say the altered taste is the worst. Dairy products taste rancid to him, and sweet foods (such as ice cream, which I thought would be our savior), taste bitter (like "bug spray," he says). Meats are one of the few things that still taste somewhat desirable, so we've had every type of turkey, roast beef, rotisserie chicken, and pot roast known to man in the last few weeks!



Much to Tony's consternation, his radiation oncologist mandated that he is to have a minimum of four nutritional supplement shakes each day. We should probably buy stock in the Carnation Instant Breakfast line of products. Of course, he is growing very tired of these and it is probably safe to say he will never touch them again after this.



I am so very proud of him, though, for keeping a positive outlook and putting up with my incessant nagging to drink a shake. ;) We were concerned at the beginning of radiation that he might require a feeding tube, as many patients with this type of treatment do. But it looks like we may get away without it! However, we still have to keep his nutrition in mind, so when you see him out and about, feel free to ask him how many shakes he's had that day (muhahaha!)



We still have crappy days and days when we both get bummed by the monotony of going to the Cancer Center and getting painful treatments every single day, but it seems like God always sends encouragement right when we need it. For example, this past Monday...the weather was gross, we were in a "going-to-treatment" funk, and I thought I was going to have to drag Tony into the Cancer Center by the collar (or he'd have to drag me). We got a message from our all-time favorite CT tech, Lynne, that she wanted us to drop by when we had a chance. We stopped by to see her, and Tony got the coolest, most unexpected gift ever: a framed picture of the Navy's Blue Angels flight team, signed by the pilots and crew! And it had Tony's name on it! Tony went from "blah" to elated; even when we got back in the car he kept saying, "Isn't it COOL?!?!" It was such a pick-me-up to know that people were thinking of him and cared...it was really needed that day, and we appreciated it very much. (Thanks Lynne!) It's also been nice to have Tony's sister, LaTonia, visiting us this week...there's nothing like a big sister to keep things in order. ;)



So we'll just keep on keepin' on...at least we're on the downhill slide. Thanks for taking the time to read this or to say a little prayer - we appreciate you all! Hope you have a good weekend; we certainly plan to. :)

1/3 Done With Radiation...

Hi everyone - sorry it's been a little while since the last post, but it was the end of the semester for me, and that means finals. And, well, you know how that goes.

At any rate, Tony is plugging away with the chemo and radiation. He gets a lower dose of chemo on Mondays and has radiation Monday through Friday. And he is getting a different chemo drug this time: it's carboplatin, not 5-FU as I had mentioned previously. He also gets the amifostine shot in his arm every day. All in all, he amazes me. I would be a puddle of tears by now if I had to endure all of this.

With 22 more treatments still to go, he is definitely beginning to feel the side effects of radiation. His sense of taste is mostly gone, although every now and then he will run across something he can actually taste. Not being able to taste things has a profound effect on appetite (I probably wouldn't want to eat, either, if I couldn't taste food at all). His throat is sore, mostly when he swallows, so this limits what he can eat, too. We've made the transition to mostly soft/slippery foods that are able to go down easily. We've also stocked up on Boost shakes, which are high-calorie, high-protein nutritional supplements. Tony says they're not too pleasant, so I am going to try to mix them up in a milkshake and see if that helps at all. More than the sore throat, though, he says it's the inflammation and swelling that is unpleasant. With all the radiated tissues being inflamed, he says it feels like his tongue is swollen and his throat is too small to do what it's intended to do. He's also got a very dry mouth most of the time, and keeps water around at all times. So if you can taste and swallow food today, stop and say a little prayer of thanks...it's amazing what we take for granted!

Tony's radiation oncologist has given us a variety of things to try for relief, including "Magic Mouthwash," which has lidocaine in it to numb the throat. Tony tried this and said it was pretty awful, although I think we're going to try it again later. He didn't like the fact that his tongue went numb as well as his throat!

We do request your continued prayers. I would say this is the most difficult part of treatment, physically and emotionally, and unfortunately, it will get worse before it gets better. He's 1/3 done, and we just have to keep plugging, but it is very unpleasant. So prayers are very much appreciated! Hope everyone has a great weekend...we'll be trying to rest up, since Saturdays and Sundays are treatment-free. :)

Let the Radiation Begin...

Hi everyone! After my last post, I got several questions about Tony's radiation mask, so it dawned on me that I didn't do the best job of explaining it. I spoke in the last post about how the mask was made, but not its purpose. The mask - scary as it looks - is pretty much designed to keep Tony's head in place while the radiation is being delivered. The radiation machines (I'm sure they have a technical name, but I don't know it!) are programmed based on a CT scan of Tony's neck. Then a really high-tech computer modeling program tells the radiation beams where to go. (The picture here shows a program that might be similar to the one they're using, but it's not Tony's. It just gives you an idea of how technical it is. You can click on it to view it larger). The goal is to radiate the "bad" tissue and preserve as much normal tissue as possible. So with that said, it's important that his head not move around, and that's where the mask comes in. The mask is actually placed over his face and then bolted to the table while the radiation treatment is done. So hopefully that explanation makes things a little clearer.


Tony actually had his first radiation treatment today, and it was kind of a surprise. We had some scheduling concerns with the Cancer Center, so we weren't sure if he would start today, but he did. As I mentioned in the last post, he got an injection of a drug called amifostine, which is designed to preserve his saliva glands and reduce the damage that radiation does to them. He said this burned a bit, and then made him feel a little hot/nauseous. However, he was supposed to take a Zofran (anti-nausea pill) before treatment, and with all the scheduling issues, well...we forgot. So hopefully next time - with the Zofran - will be a little less unpleasant. The radiation itself is painless and pretty unremarkable; so the least pleasant things are probably the injection and having to lay on the table.


He'll have a low dose of chemo this coming Monday, which is designed to make the radiation (which is every day Monday - Friday) more effective. We're crossing our fingers that the lower dose will mean less severe side effects than the high-dose chemo he's already had, but we'll just have to wait and see. Whereas he was getting a 3-drug chemo cocktail before, this part will just be one drug (fluorouracil, or 5-FU).


The side effects of radiation are - like chemo - cumulative. Radiation can cause dry mouth and difficulty swallowing/eating, among other nasty things. I've also heard from other survivors that it gets more difficult and tiring as the weeks go on, and Tony will have about seven weeks of this, which will be 35 treatments. So we do appreciate your continued prayers as this last half of treatment goes on. As I read what I just typed, I realize that sounds pessimistic, but that's kind of the reality of the treatments. Having cancer isn't so bad; it's the treatments that suck! We, however, are not generally pessimistic people, and so we plan to get this done and kick cancer in the butt.


Tony also registered as a survivor in the upcoming Relay for Life that is held by the American Cancer Society at the Clark Co. fairgrounds. I'm not making a team or fundraising or anything, but if you've never been, I'd encourage you to go. It's a LOT more fun than you might think, and pretty much anything you buy there goes to help the American Cancer Society. It's like a fair, but with a better cause! :)


So that's what's new - I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and this beautiful weather. Be blessed!

The Mask (Radiation 101)

I left class a few minutes early today (sorry, Cinda!) so that I could be with Tony for his appointment with the radiation oncologist at the Cancer Center. I particularly wanted to be there for this one because we'd be discussing all the radiation stuff, which is still new to us.

In the next week and a half or so, Tony will be starting daily radiation treatments (Monday - Friday) and weekly chemo (yes, that again - luckily he doesn't have to wear the pump home for this stuff). This will go on for 7 and 1/2 weeks. When he goes in for the treatments, he'll also be getting a daily injection of a drug called amifostine (Ethyol). This will be given subcutaneously (under the skin), and it is designed to preserve the function of his salivary glands during the radiation. This is important because radiation is pretty vicious, and tends to lead to dry mouth, swallowing difficulties, increased risk for cavities/dental problems, etc. So while it will really stink to get a shot every day, we hope in the end the drug does what it's intended to do. Amifostine also can cause nausea/vomiting and a drop in blood pressure, so they'll be monitoring his BP frequently and he'll pop a good ol' Zofran (anti-nausea med) before going each day.

The radiation treatments themselves are called IMRT or "intensity modulated radiation therapy." Basically the idea is to use a CT Scan to place the radiation more closely to the affected tissues while preserving as much normal tissue as possible. Here's a good link I found with some more info: http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=imrt

So after the question and answer session, Tony went back into the CT area to have his mask made. This involved him lying on the CT table for about 45 minutes while the technicians did what they needed to do. He said the worst of it was that he had to place a contraption under his feet to pull his shoulders down into the proper alignment for the mask to be made, and this was really uncomfortable to hold for 45 minutes.

The mask itself was a plastic mesh material, which was warmed and then placed on his face and conformed to him. Some people get anxious when this is done, as it can induce claustrophobia because you're fastened to the table. Tony, however, enjoyed it and said it was the closest to a spa treatment he'd ever had. Go figure.

He also had a bite guard in place during this process, which is designed to move the healthy tissues away from the planned field of radiation (he'll be wearing this during treatments too). Oh, and the best part of the whole day? Tony got a tattoo! It's not a very exciting one, mind you...it's a dot. Literally no bigger than the period at the end of this sentence. But it's in the middle of his chest and will help them align the mask properly. We may have to get a more exciting one when this is all done.

At any rate, it will take about 7-10 days for them to complete the computer modeling necessary to begin his treatments. When this is done, the Cancer Center will let us know, and then we'll know when the radiation will start. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, especially for Tony to have minimal side effects. We love and appreciate you all!

Chemo Cycle Three....Free! (of that freakin' fanny pack!)

Finished my last round of Induction Chemo on March 26th....and it hit me like a truck! I am finally getting over the side effects and feeling about normal. I would like to thank everyone for their support and kind words in this first half of my plan. I have an idea of what to expect when I start the Chemo and radiation combination in about a week, but I will keep you informed. Lynne, I will take you up on that cake offer...as soon as my taste buds come back around in November! I have a meeting with my Radiation Oncologist on Monday April the 12th to see about scheduling my test run and making my mask. I have to see what time of the day they are going to schedule my daily radiation appointments so that I can work it into my work schedule.

Enjoying the Sun

Hello. I have been enjoying the fact that my side effects are finally subsiding. The weather has been great, I took my wife on a date to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D (Great movie!).

I got an adjustable silver ring for my radiation phase of Chemo when I will be loosing a bit of weight.


I ran into Dave Chappelle in Yellow Springs on Saturday (I was like "Hey Dave" and he waved like "Do I know him?"). It has been a good few days, but Jess has a sinus and throat infection and I am able to take care of her for the fist time in a long while. That's all for now guys. Got a week before my last Induction Chemo.......gonna enjoy the weather for now.

Chemo Cycle Two - THROUGH!

Today was the last day of chemo cycle two - woohoo! As expected, Tony is verrrrrry tired, but he's doing great; I couldn't be prouder of him. I actually learned this time exactly how much chemo he's been getting, and holy moly! On Mondays, he gets 150 mg of Taxotere, 150 mg of Cisplatin, and then Mon-Fri. he gets 6,000 mg of 5-FU (that's a LOT)! At our last checkup with the doctor, he was apparently impressed with how well Tony was tolerating the treatment, because this time around he bumped the 5-FU up to 6,500 mg. Tony has vowed not to brag on how well he's doing next time, but they tell us he's getting bumped up again regardless (to 7,000 mg).

We also noticed this time around that Tony had some pretty wicked hiccups, which is actually a side effect of the chemo (odd, I know.) It doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but when you suddenly start hiccuping at 3 AM and can't stop, it's a little annoying. Luckily these only lasted a day or two.

Many of the side effects of the chemo (continued fatigue, GI issues, etc.) tend to hit this next week, so we appreciate the continued prayers. We go back for bloodwork on Monday and then for a checkup with the oncologist the week after.

We are 2/3 done with chemo...woooo! These are the things we are thankful for! Hope everyone has a great weekend. :)

Splitting Hairs

"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony." - Morpheus, The Matrix

Wouldn't you know...it was just two days ago when I wrote the last post concerning Tony's hair. It seems that all it took for him to start losing hair was for me to write about how he wasn't losing hair! In fact, the very next morning when he took a shower, it started coming out...LOTS of it. He said he was just running his hands through his hair while washing it and the deluge began. My husband (thoughtful man that he is) left me several gigantic hairballs in both the sink and the shower because he knew I'd like to see how much he lost. (And yes, odd person that I am, I actually appreciated this).

After that, we amused ourselves by discovering that you could just grasp his hair in your fingers and it would come straight out. It was kind of amazing how quickly it got patchy-looking, especially in the back. So Tony decided it was time for a haircut. His friend Chris was kind enough to lend some clippers to the cause, complete with a hair-cutting cape. At first, Tony did a moderate buzz, leaving some length on the hair. And then he decided to go for it: he took the guard lower and buzzed it nearly all the way to the scalp. He said he was tired of trying to figure out where it looked patchy, and also said it felt empowering to do this himself. (I got to cut the back, though!)

So feel free to admire his head (he has a very nice, symmetrical one!) when you see him. Please just don't ask to rub the cranium though, as it is still a bit sore from the chemo. Also, Tony does kindly request that you not give him what he calls the "sad-cancer-patient-face" when you see him; he doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for him! He's really quite chipper, and we'd like to keep it that way! Have a follicularly fabulous evening, everyone! :)

"Are You Bald Yet?!"

It's been a little while since we blogged, and that's because...well, we've been busy enjoying a great week! Since the first round of chemo, Tony has really rebounded astoundingly well, and this week in particular has been almost exactly like the B.C. era ("Before Chemo," that is.) Many of you have probably seen him bopping around the hospital for work. We've gotten lots of comments along the lines of, "Gee, you don't even look like you have cancer!" It's been so very refreshing to have a good week: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It feels like a vacation.


In other news, I figured I would address one of the questions we hear quite a bit: "Are ya losing your hair yet?!" (which, for the record, is probably not on the "Top 10 List of Best Ways to Greet a Cancer Patient." Just sayin'...) That aside, however, the answer is....kinda sorta. He's noticed a few extra hairs in the shower when he washes his hair, but nothing monumental. Unless you count...THE NOSE HAIRS! Yes, yes...of all the undignified side effects, he is noticing the nose hairs starting to return to their maker. (Weird, right? This is the stuff they don't tell you in the pleasant little instructional chemo videos!) It's interesting, also, that so many folks seem to think that cancer patients only wear scarves or hats for their fashion appeal or to cover a bald head. This may be true in some cases, but in our experience it's more to cope with other things. For example, his scalp is a bit sore, and he already finds that he is more sensitive to cold. So if you see him sporting one of his many new hats, you'll know why!


We go back to the Cancer Center for another chemo-thon on Monday (March 8th). Luckily, I am on Spring Break from school next week, so I won't have quite as much to worry about.


Here are a few random thoughts to leave you with:

• We appreciate everyone's support more than you know. Everyone that has become a follower of the blog, thanks! I know it sounds weird, but all the comments and followers make us feel like we're not completely alone. And we could all stand to be reminded that we are loved, couldn't we? Go hug the nearest person! :)



• We especially appreciate prayers. It's extremely draining for both of us when he has the treatments - it's difficult for him physically, and for me emotionally. As it turns out, it's more than a little unnerving to see your better half getting poisoned. It's odd the things that bother me...and the chemo pump is really tough for some reason. I guess it's just a constant, week-long reminder of what's being done. The treatment works, but it's a pretty nasty process, and it's hard to see him not feeling well. So if you think of us, please pray that both of us stay healthy and strong - inside and out.

• We understand that lots of people don't quite know what to say to us sometimes, because the "C" word is so just overwhelming (trust us - we know!) And we want everyone to know that it's OK - because guess what? We don't know what's going on half the time either! This is a journey filled with lots of uncertainty, and we appreciate everyone's generosity, whether it's a message, a smile, or a pat on the back. We don't mind answering questions, either. To the contrary, we like sharing what's going on - especially if it means we can encourage fellow cancer fighters or help people better understand how to relate to cancer fighters. (See that? I've decided I like "cancer fighters" better than "cancer patients").
  
  
• Contrary to popular belief, some of the best encouragement we've received wasn't wordy or eloquent. Sometimes I am just so relieved when someone listens to my griping and then says, "That sucks." Because ya know what? It does. So if you've read this blog, talked to Tony, or listened to me vent/cry/update, bless you. And remember that we are simply called to encourage each other, not to have all the answers or pretty-sounding quotes. :)
  

Have a blessed day or evening, and we'll catch you next week!

Chemo Cycle One - DONE!

"ONE! ONE chemo done! Ah ah ah!" On Friday - after a full week of chemo - we went back to the Cancer Center to have the chemo pump removed. (Hooray!) Tony did extremely well this whole week - I am amazed at what a trooper he is (keep in mind he is receiving three different types of chemo). Luckily, he didn't have much in the way of nausea that couldn't be controlled with medicine. He didn't get sick at all (thank the Lord). The most noticeable effect was fatigue. He could generally get up and do what he needed to do, but by early afternoon, he started to crash a bit and would have to rest. For a guy that usually goes 90 miles per hour in every direction, this is a bit of an adjustment. He also has some residual "chemo-brain," (yes, they actually call it that!) which he says is hard to describe. He feels a wee bit detached and fuzzy-headed sometimes; I think this is usually just when he is tired. He says his sense of smell is heightened also - he can pick up things the rest of us don't notice. But all in all, if you didn't know better, you probably couldn't even tell he is having chemo - he's pretty amazing. I attribute this to his strength and also to a lot of prayers. You can't convince me the prayers aren't helping, because even the nurse that gave him the chemo said she was worried about him this week because she was "giving him some pretty nasty stuff." So I'm not trying to minimize what he's dealing with, but to have so few side effects at this point is really a blessing.

Now that he has been detached from his "leash" (the chemo pump), we have two weeks until his next treatment. We are 1/3 done with this part! We go back next week for lab work, the week after that to see the oncologist, and then we start Cycle 2. But we're not concerned with that right now - we're just enjoying being done with the first cycle. :)

Chemo - Days 1 and 2

Well, our very long first day of chemo at the Cancer Center has come and gone. All in all, it was pretty uneventful - not what you'd expect. For some reason, we both had this mental image that as soon as they got the chemo bag near you, projectile vomiting would commence. But there was no vomiting - on the contrary, Tony either slept or ate snacks through most of the ordeal (BBQ potato chips and cinnamon rolls were the favorites). The cinnamon rolls were brought around by one of the volunteers, and they were yummy! Another volunteer brought around a basket of handmade bead jewelry and offered us whatever we wanted: key chains or bracelets that said "Hope" on them; everyone was very nice.

As expected, Tony cracked the nurses up with his newly-acquired "Chemosabe" T-shirt, which has a picture of a cowboy holding a chemo bag. Priceless.

Towards the end of the day, they hooked up the chemo pump that Tony has to wear until Friday. (He's quite surly about having to wear a "fanny pack," so no snide comments, or he is likely to beat you with it.) Last night, we learned the joys of sleeping with said chemo pump, as it makes a delightful "SWISH" noise every few minutes. After several hours, Tony figured out that putting the pump on the floor and covering it with a pillow did the trick.

All in all, it's going pretty well. He's a bit tired, and was a bit nauseous this morning, but the meds seem to be doing their job to help this. Only three more days until the pump comes off! It gives T.G.I.F. a whole new meaning...

We appreciate the prayers and comments more than you know, so thank you to everyone :)

The Port Authority

On Tuesday, Tony had a "Power Port" inserted in his chest, which I explained in an earlier entry. The procedure went smoothly, and Tony said it was a piece of cake compared to the tonsillectomy. The incision (below his collarbone) looks very good, and there's not much to speak of when you look at it - just a tiny little lump where the port was inserted under the skin.

They gave him an informational packet that included one of those nifty rubber bracelets to remind people that he now has a port. It's pretty snazzy looking, and I joked that all we had to do to get it was consent to a surgical procedure.

This weekend we're trying to rest up, as Monday is the big first day of chemo. However, there is family-visiting and house-cleaning to be done, so I'm not sure how much actual rest we'll get! We appreciate everyone's concern, positive comments, and prayers, and we'll do our best to keep you updated. Thank you! :)

Mediport surgery day......yay.

Well today is my Mediport surgery day. I had a great idea this morning! I am going to shave my chest in a few places to see if I can make a Man-O-Lantern like Steve Carell in the 40 Year Old Virgin! It should give them a laugh.

It's All a Blur

*WARNING* - This will be a long one!

A lot happened yesterday...a whole lot. We had our appointment at the Cancer Center to meet with the medical oncologist (chemo doctor). He shared with us a "change of plans" - well, not really a change of plans but addition to the plan. First, he wants Tony to have a Mediport placed. For those who aren't familiar, this is a surgical procedure to implant a port in his chest, a little under the collarbone. It's kind of a "ready made" IV, meaning they won't have to poke all over his arms and God-knows-where-else every time he goes for chemo, lab work, or fluids. They can just access the port. The picture on the left is one of the better ones I could find. The top image shows the little "button" that will be under the skin; the center is kind of cork-like in consistency. That's what they'll be accessing whenever they need to draw blood or give medications/fluids/etc. My poor guy has already had more surgeries in the last month than I have in my life, but this should be nicer in the long run than having to get stuck a billion times.

Also, the doctor says he wants to do what's called "induction chemotherapy" with Tony. Basically, this is "extra" chemo before the main treatment of radiation and low-dose chemo. It's kind of like throwing everything at the cancer at once. There are three cycles of this, and each cycle is one week on and two weeks off. The cycle starts on a Monday, and it's an all-day affair. We go in the morning, and start off with a bag (one liter!) of saline for hydration. Then there are a bunch of "pre-medications" (stuff to lessen the side effects of chemo): Zantac (to help nausea), Benadryl (to prevent allergic side effects), Decadron (for nausea), and assorted other steroids. Then he'll get three, that's right - THREE - different kinds of chemo: Taxotere (docetaxel), Cisplatin/Cis-platinum, and 5-FU/fluorouracil. (Lovely cocktail, right? I think the "FU" part of "5-FU" is an appropriate name for a cancer drug.) The 5-FU will actually be placed in a pre-programmed pump, which will go home with him and continue infusing Mon-Fri. Then on Friday we go back to have it all disconnected. So that's the week of chemo, then he'll get two weeks of no chemo, and that is one cycle. We do this three times, then radiation starts. When that begins, he will still have chemo, but it will only be once a week, and it will only be one drug (low-dose 5-FU).

So this week will be a very busy one. We have an appointment on Monday to meet with the doctor that will be doing the Mediport surgery. Then the surgery will be scheduled sometime this week (not sure when until the consultation). Then next week, the chemo starts. Can't say I'm looking forward to that, but it's got to be done!

Here are some more random notes:

• One of the churches near the Cancer Center makes neck support pillows for the chemo patients because they have to sit in those chairs so much during their treatments. Tony got to pick one out for free - he chose a very manly print. ;) I thought that was so very thoughtful of this church: it may seem like a small thing, but to know someone was thinking of these patients was very comforting to me. "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" - Matthew 25:40

• We love, love, love the people at the Cancer Center. I really couldn't ask for better folks to sit there and answer our questions, and even answer those we didn't think to ask.

• I'll be getting my hair chopped off in the near future. Ironically enough, I had been growing it out to donate it to Locks of Love. I did this once before, and figured it was an easy enough way for me to help. I've finally got enough length, and it seems the timing is appropriate since Tony will be starting his chemo soon. I offered (very sincerely) to shave my head completely to show my support, but my loving husband said, "Ummm....you can find some other way to support me, dear." I got the point! :P

• Feel free to become a follower of our blog and make us feel loved! Also, I changed the setup so that anyone can post comments on any of the blogs now - you don't have to do all that "set up an account" stuff anymore. So comment away! :)

The Tooth Fairy and Other Matters of Consequence

Tony had his #18 tooth pulled today, which is the next to the last one on the back, left-hand side. My sister accompanied him, and in true Tony fashion, he took it like a champ. Thoughtful as he is, he asked the dentist to keep his tooth so he could bring it home to show his wife who is in nursing school. He really shouldn't have. It was huge and...well, rather disgusting.

They had to get this tooth out of the way before he can start radiation treatments. He'll need about two weeks to heal up from this before radiation gets underway. He got more drugs today, so hopefully he won't be in too much pain.

In related news, we had a bit of a cancer discussion with the little dude last night over dinner. I have to share one of the more memorable moments from the conversation.

Me: "Have you heard of radiation before? Tell me what you know about it."

Little Guy: "Ummm....I know radiation turned the Hulk into the Hulk."

Me: "I walked right into that one."

So, yeah...we had to break the news that Dad would NOT be turning into a superhero. Although that would be pretty cool.

Doctors, Radiation, and Chemo...Oh My!

Today we trekked to the Cancer Center for our first meeting with the radiation oncologist. She shared that Tony will NOT be having the radical neck dissection surgery at this time (hooray!) but WILL be getting a fantabulous cocktail of radiation and chemo (boo!). Her proposal is to do 7 and 1/2 weeks of treatment: radiation 5 days a week and low-dose chemo once a week.

He'll be going to see the dentist tomorrow (to rule out the possibility of any dental excavation before radiation starts). After that, we see the medical oncologist (chemo Dr.) on Friday, and after we get the green light from the dentist, we'll set up the planning session for the radiation.

Everyone we met today was very nice and very helpful; alas, both of us are a little...surly, shall we say? It seems that going to the Cancer Center made it all a little more concrete in our minds...after all, it is called the CANCER Center, and not the Happy House or Sunshine Station. And for a dude (and a wife) who have never had more than minor illnesses, this is a lot to process, ya know?

At any rate, we appreciate the prayers...keep 'em coming - we need all the encouragement we can get! ;)

Update from 1/29/10

On Friday we had our follow-up visit with Dr. Gillen (Tony's ear, nose, and throat doctor). He took a look at Tony's throat and said that he is healing nicely. We won't have to see him (unless we want to) until his radiation/chemo/surgery/whatever is finished. We'll be going to the Cancer Center on Monday to see what they recommend as far as treatment.

We also asked the doctor what stage Tony's cancer was, and he responded, "You really want to know?" (I'm pretty sure this is on the "Top 10 List" of things I don't want to hear a doctor say.)

Cancers are typically staged with a roman numeral from one (I) to four (IV) with Stage I being the least invasive and stage IV being the most invasive. Can anyone guess which stage my over-achieving husband is? That's right! Stage IV. Now before anyone starts putting on sackcloth and ashes, it's actually common for this type of cancer to be found in later stages, and that's because it's somewhat hidden. For instance, if you guys and girls are doing breast and testicular self-exams (like you should be!) then breast/testicular cancer can be found by means of a lump or nodule. However, this started in his tonsil, and he had no symptoms whatsoever until the swollen lymph node showed up on his neck, and we took action at that point. So, although this one was unavoidable, some cancers can be caught much earlier, so do your self-checks and go to the doctor regularly. There, I'm off my soapbox.

There is also a more specific staging system used for head and neck cancers, called the "T,N,M" system. "T" stands for "tumor," "N" stands for "lymph node," and "M" stands for metastasis. This method stages the cancer using information about how big the original tumor is, how many lymph nodes are involved, and if there is any distant metastasis (i.e. if the cancer has spread to a completely different part of the body). The doctor said Tony would be considered a T 2/4, N 2a, M0.

The original tumor would be considered either a two or a four. Based on its size alone, it would be a "2", but there was evidence of microscopic cancer cells at the edges of the tonsil, so you could also consider it a "4" because it was trying to crawl out (as I call it). The lymph node part, "N2a" means two lymph nodes on his neck are involved. The "2a" part could be worse, as there is also "2b" and "2c." Lastly, that little "zero" after the "M" is a very, very good thing; it means we have no evidence of distant metastasis (cancer elsewhere in his body).

So...the next step will be visiting the Cancer Center on Monday, which, oddly enough, we're both looking forward to. I think we're just ready to get the ball rolling on this. The doctor also commented that he thinks Tony will do very well with treatment because he's a positive person and seems to take things in stride. We're both incredibly stubborn, and I think this is one circumstance where our stubbornness will serve us well.

Tests are Back

The Doctor called yesterday and announced that the cancer was found in the right tonsil. I am relieved that it did not show up anywhere else as the prognosis is more grim with more sites. The next step will be a referral to a radiation oncologist to determine if I will need radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, or some combination of these. I am crossing my fingers and hope that the radical neck dissection will be ruled out......allergic to pain.

Sunday was a good day.

I was in a bit of pain on Sunday...inner ear issues that use the same nerves as my biopsy site. Other than that, it was a good day. Thank you to Karen Baker and family for the awesome white turkey chili! I think I had at least 3 bowls of it...Jessica is going to have to get the recipe from you.

Surgery day------Plus 1

Hello all! It is the first day since my surgery and I am feeling pretty good. I guess that when you have had your tonsils in for 41 years and have had as many bouts of strep as I have, this biopsy is slightly more painful....but not by much. Last night I had to get up every 2 hours to drink to make sure that the biopsy sites did not dry up and start to bleed. Jessica has been a trooper, waking up whenever I coughed or anything during the night, as well as getting me frozen snacks during the day. Thanks to Lesley and Noel for stopping by today and dropping off the Lasagna last night.....I WILL be eating some of that this week. Thanks to Tiffany for the casserole and Popsicles today....Jess is eating them! Thank you to everyone that has texted, called, and prayed for me during this. I will keep you all posted. The next step will be my follow up with my Doctor on the 29th to get the results of the biopsies and discuss my next surgery.

Surgery day.

Bah....stayed up until 2:30 folding laundry, checking on servers at work, anything to not go to bed and make this morning come sooner. Today I will have biopsies of my throat, base of my tongue, tonsils taken out, samples of my inner cheek, and gums. I asked the Doctor if I could just chew on a glass bottle instead....he said no. Got everything ready for a week of not being able to talk, drive, or eat solid food......the brighter side is that I can take a few pounds off!! Yay?

Trying to wrap this week up as far as projects and preparation for surgery on Friday. It has been crazy, but I am just about done. Had a dream that Ari Fleisher told me that he was going to do my surgery!

This made me a bit upset as he stated that he was not going to put me completely under...and I had a few colorful words for him...then I realized that I was strapped down to the surgery table and he was charging up a defibrillator! That's what I get for watching the news before I go to bed!

Random Cancer Musings

All right, you've been warned...these are incredibly random thoughts we've experienced since first hearing about the "C" word.

• Tony finds he has been craving hot sauce for the last several weeks. This is unusual for him, and he is convinced it is his body's way of trying to get rid of the cancer...LOL!

• Even though I am in nursing school, I am now finding it difficult to say that word "cancer," because now it pertains to my husband. Heck, even "carcinoma" sounds more appealing than "cancer." Perhaps we could make a code word for it instead. "Yeah, I'm going to get a test done. You know, for my 'hibbety-jibbety'"...followed by a knowing wink.

• Now that we know what this is, we want it gone. Yesterday. Alas, there are diagnostic tests and waiting to be done. We both have to restrain ourselves from screaming, "AGHHH!! GET IT OUT!!!" Here again, my imagination runs amok and I picture the alien that pops out of the guy in the Spaceballs movie. "GET IT OUT ALREADY!!!"

• I have completely irrational fears related to the cancer. For instance, both of us take multivitamins each day. Yesterday when I was about to offer him some vitamins, I hesitated, as if feeding him vitamins would make the cancer grow faster. (See, I said it was irrational.)

• I sometimes become angry at inanimate objects now. Yesterday we had to fill out a form that said, "Have you ever been diagnosed with cancer?" It had innocuous little "Yes" or "No" boxes that you could check. I felt like writing, "WHY YES!! WE HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!!"

I warned you they were random. ;)

CT with Contrast

So I have had a couple of CT scans done with contrast and it is a weird feeling! The tech Lynne (love her!) was great and funny on both occasions. She took the time to explain to me what was happening at every part of the procedure with out talking over my head, or talking down to me. The contrast......dude......it goes in cold, and you can feel it moving through your veins. After a few seconds the hot flashes! I described this to my Director Amy and our Project Manager and Jessica's professor Nancy and Nancy was quick to say "Now you know how it feels for some of us every day!". Needless to say that when the thermostat is cranked down because someone in the department is having a hot flash, I will just suck it up. I propose that anyone in any department that has an employee that has hot flashes combined with someone that complains about the temp should drug the complainer and drag them down to the radiology department and force them into a CT with contrast. You will have the last laugh...of course after you are fired and jailed.....but you WILL have changed their mind about hot flashes.

The "C" Word

Sooooo...today could have been better. We were waiting on Tony's test results and had fully convinced ourselves that everything was A-OK. I, being my blissfully ignorant self, was pleasantly surprised to see Tony home early, until I saw his face, and I knew before he said anything that we were dealing with "the C word."

I handled the news with dignity and grace (and by dignity and grace, of course, I mean sobbing, snot, and blubbering). God love him, he had to repeat everything about four times just so I could comprehend what he was saying.

The good doc says it is squamous cell carcinoma, a type of skin cancer. He will be having his tonsils removed next Friday (1/22), and they will also be taking various other bits from the throat, gums, and God-knows-where-else in an attempt to identify where this mess started. Neither of us are particularly looking forward to this, but we are anxious to know exactly what's going on in there.

After my initial...ahem, "grace and dignity," I did a little better. We (for the most part) have settled into a hearty "Let's nip this in the bud" attitude. As we ate dinner, I became a little perturbed that we now had to contend with "the C word." I pictured the little orange monster from the Weight Watchers commercials hopping onto the kitchen table and staring at us. I resented the intrusion. And so, little orange monster, cute though you may be...now you must die. :)

First Blog EVER!!

Just starting this Blog. Today is January 15 2010, and it the day after I was diagnosed with Cancer. I am not a great writer (like my wife and sister), but I will try to document all about this crap!