Update from 1/29/10

On Friday we had our follow-up visit with Dr. Gillen (Tony's ear, nose, and throat doctor). He took a look at Tony's throat and said that he is healing nicely. We won't have to see him (unless we want to) until his radiation/chemo/surgery/whatever is finished. We'll be going to the Cancer Center on Monday to see what they recommend as far as treatment.

We also asked the doctor what stage Tony's cancer was, and he responded, "You really want to know?" (I'm pretty sure this is on the "Top 10 List" of things I don't want to hear a doctor say.)

Cancers are typically staged with a roman numeral from one (I) to four (IV) with Stage I being the least invasive and stage IV being the most invasive. Can anyone guess which stage my over-achieving husband is? That's right! Stage IV. Now before anyone starts putting on sackcloth and ashes, it's actually common for this type of cancer to be found in later stages, and that's because it's somewhat hidden. For instance, if you guys and girls are doing breast and testicular self-exams (like you should be!) then breast/testicular cancer can be found by means of a lump or nodule. However, this started in his tonsil, and he had no symptoms whatsoever until the swollen lymph node showed up on his neck, and we took action at that point. So, although this one was unavoidable, some cancers can be caught much earlier, so do your self-checks and go to the doctor regularly. There, I'm off my soapbox.

There is also a more specific staging system used for head and neck cancers, called the "T,N,M" system. "T" stands for "tumor," "N" stands for "lymph node," and "M" stands for metastasis. This method stages the cancer using information about how big the original tumor is, how many lymph nodes are involved, and if there is any distant metastasis (i.e. if the cancer has spread to a completely different part of the body). The doctor said Tony would be considered a T 2/4, N 2a, M0.

The original tumor would be considered either a two or a four. Based on its size alone, it would be a "2", but there was evidence of microscopic cancer cells at the edges of the tonsil, so you could also consider it a "4" because it was trying to crawl out (as I call it). The lymph node part, "N2a" means two lymph nodes on his neck are involved. The "2a" part could be worse, as there is also "2b" and "2c." Lastly, that little "zero" after the "M" is a very, very good thing; it means we have no evidence of distant metastasis (cancer elsewhere in his body).

So...the next step will be visiting the Cancer Center on Monday, which, oddly enough, we're both looking forward to. I think we're just ready to get the ball rolling on this. The doctor also commented that he thinks Tony will do very well with treatment because he's a positive person and seems to take things in stride. We're both incredibly stubborn, and I think this is one circumstance where our stubbornness will serve us well.

Tests are Back

The Doctor called yesterday and announced that the cancer was found in the right tonsil. I am relieved that it did not show up anywhere else as the prognosis is more grim with more sites. The next step will be a referral to a radiation oncologist to determine if I will need radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, or some combination of these. I am crossing my fingers and hope that the radical neck dissection will be ruled out......allergic to pain.

Sunday was a good day.

I was in a bit of pain on Sunday...inner ear issues that use the same nerves as my biopsy site. Other than that, it was a good day. Thank you to Karen Baker and family for the awesome white turkey chili! I think I had at least 3 bowls of it...Jessica is going to have to get the recipe from you.

Surgery day------Plus 1

Hello all! It is the first day since my surgery and I am feeling pretty good. I guess that when you have had your tonsils in for 41 years and have had as many bouts of strep as I have, this biopsy is slightly more painful....but not by much. Last night I had to get up every 2 hours to drink to make sure that the biopsy sites did not dry up and start to bleed. Jessica has been a trooper, waking up whenever I coughed or anything during the night, as well as getting me frozen snacks during the day. Thanks to Lesley and Noel for stopping by today and dropping off the Lasagna last night.....I WILL be eating some of that this week. Thanks to Tiffany for the casserole and Popsicles today....Jess is eating them! Thank you to everyone that has texted, called, and prayed for me during this. I will keep you all posted. The next step will be my follow up with my Doctor on the 29th to get the results of the biopsies and discuss my next surgery.

Surgery day.

Bah....stayed up until 2:30 folding laundry, checking on servers at work, anything to not go to bed and make this morning come sooner. Today I will have biopsies of my throat, base of my tongue, tonsils taken out, samples of my inner cheek, and gums. I asked the Doctor if I could just chew on a glass bottle instead....he said no. Got everything ready for a week of not being able to talk, drive, or eat solid food......the brighter side is that I can take a few pounds off!! Yay?

Trying to wrap this week up as far as projects and preparation for surgery on Friday. It has been crazy, but I am just about done. Had a dream that Ari Fleisher told me that he was going to do my surgery!

This made me a bit upset as he stated that he was not going to put me completely under...and I had a few colorful words for him...then I realized that I was strapped down to the surgery table and he was charging up a defibrillator! That's what I get for watching the news before I go to bed!

Random Cancer Musings

All right, you've been warned...these are incredibly random thoughts we've experienced since first hearing about the "C" word.

• Tony finds he has been craving hot sauce for the last several weeks. This is unusual for him, and he is convinced it is his body's way of trying to get rid of the cancer...LOL!

• Even though I am in nursing school, I am now finding it difficult to say that word "cancer," because now it pertains to my husband. Heck, even "carcinoma" sounds more appealing than "cancer." Perhaps we could make a code word for it instead. "Yeah, I'm going to get a test done. You know, for my 'hibbety-jibbety'"...followed by a knowing wink.

• Now that we know what this is, we want it gone. Yesterday. Alas, there are diagnostic tests and waiting to be done. We both have to restrain ourselves from screaming, "AGHHH!! GET IT OUT!!!" Here again, my imagination runs amok and I picture the alien that pops out of the guy in the Spaceballs movie. "GET IT OUT ALREADY!!!"

• I have completely irrational fears related to the cancer. For instance, both of us take multivitamins each day. Yesterday when I was about to offer him some vitamins, I hesitated, as if feeding him vitamins would make the cancer grow faster. (See, I said it was irrational.)

• I sometimes become angry at inanimate objects now. Yesterday we had to fill out a form that said, "Have you ever been diagnosed with cancer?" It had innocuous little "Yes" or "No" boxes that you could check. I felt like writing, "WHY YES!! WE HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!!"

I warned you they were random. ;)

CT with Contrast

So I have had a couple of CT scans done with contrast and it is a weird feeling! The tech Lynne (love her!) was great and funny on both occasions. She took the time to explain to me what was happening at every part of the procedure with out talking over my head, or talking down to me. The contrast......dude......it goes in cold, and you can feel it moving through your veins. After a few seconds the hot flashes! I described this to my Director Amy and our Project Manager and Jessica's professor Nancy and Nancy was quick to say "Now you know how it feels for some of us every day!". Needless to say that when the thermostat is cranked down because someone in the department is having a hot flash, I will just suck it up. I propose that anyone in any department that has an employee that has hot flashes combined with someone that complains about the temp should drug the complainer and drag them down to the radiology department and force them into a CT with contrast. You will have the last laugh...of course after you are fired and jailed.....but you WILL have changed their mind about hot flashes.

The "C" Word

Sooooo...today could have been better. We were waiting on Tony's test results and had fully convinced ourselves that everything was A-OK. I, being my blissfully ignorant self, was pleasantly surprised to see Tony home early, until I saw his face, and I knew before he said anything that we were dealing with "the C word."

I handled the news with dignity and grace (and by dignity and grace, of course, I mean sobbing, snot, and blubbering). God love him, he had to repeat everything about four times just so I could comprehend what he was saying.

The good doc says it is squamous cell carcinoma, a type of skin cancer. He will be having his tonsils removed next Friday (1/22), and they will also be taking various other bits from the throat, gums, and God-knows-where-else in an attempt to identify where this mess started. Neither of us are particularly looking forward to this, but we are anxious to know exactly what's going on in there.

After my initial...ahem, "grace and dignity," I did a little better. We (for the most part) have settled into a hearty "Let's nip this in the bud" attitude. As we ate dinner, I became a little perturbed that we now had to contend with "the C word." I pictured the little orange monster from the Weight Watchers commercials hopping onto the kitchen table and staring at us. I resented the intrusion. And so, little orange monster, cute though you may be...now you must die. :)

First Blog EVER!!

Just starting this Blog. Today is January 15 2010, and it the day after I was diagnosed with Cancer. I am not a great writer (like my wife and sister), but I will try to document all about this crap!